It’s a trap! It’s too easy to frame your identity around your attachments in life—to see yourself as an alcoholic, or an angry or passive person. It may feel like mindfulness because you’ve avoided denial, but it’s just another trap. Instead, take the third option: Growth Mindset.
Liz explains center—how it’s about who you (singular) are supposed to be, not necessarily you all plural. The person God designed you to be.
Two apparent choices: 1) Denial—ongoing sin is no big deal or 2) Sin Identity—once an addict always an addict.
Liz says it’s the same idea in the ‘sick people community’ to have your identity found in our disease—instead of looking at it as a place you’re in.
There is a big draw to get sucked into the community of cancer or addiction—but are we getting better or not?
Liz says sorta like the difference between shame and guilt. If that’s just who you are, there’s nowhere else to go.
Emotional problems feed both pitfalls—same things that drives us to deny and minimize could morph into a sense of pride and identity in the sin and get stuck there
Liz fire addiction analogy: coals (emotional/trauma issues), flame (acting out in the addiction), and tinder (inciting incident that triggers acting out). The unresolved emotional issues are the coals that cause us to need the addictions.
Liz mentions growth mindset. Carol Dweck TED talk about growth mindset—our brains are not static.
When you get rid of the coals, the flames just automatically disappear.
3rd choice is growth guy/child-of-God guy. Growing in God’s power.
We can have more grace with ourselves and others if we see sins like a child’s mistake.
Trauma gets us stuck and it’s a big problem. Peter Scazzero—you can’t have spiritual growth without emotional growth.
But do we accept that truth?
We’ve got to do some self-work so we don’t fall into the two pit falls—the two bad choices of denial and sin identity.
Liz heard a really great talk—about how we’re here for a reason—you’ve made decisions that have led you to this point. There’s a reason you want to numb out. If there wasn’t a reason, you wouldn’t be there. We are not random.
Need to change underlying reasons if we want to change behavior.
Inappropriate emotional connections to attachments is what we need to hit bottom about.
Epic Every Day is available on Radio Public, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Sticher and YouTube.
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Liz’s book: Tales From A Spacious Place
Music by: Nu Skiffle Brigade used under creative commons license